How Long Should You Last During Sex?

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For many men, lasting longer in bed is more than just satisfying your partner; it’s also about you feeling like you're more in control of your life. Every man is different, but there are ways to change the amount of time you last in bed.

But how long should sex last? And, how long does the average male last in bed? We're going to take a look at some of the most effective ways to last longer in bed, and how long the average man lasts in bed.

There have been many studies on one of the most exciting topics: sex. Sex is delightful, incredible, and a basic human need. Yet somehow it's also one of the most anxiety-inducing topics, as we're always wondering how we measure up, and how we can best please our partners.

Sex is not just a one-way street. That is, it's not just about the man and only the man. Sex is an interaction between two people, and as such, both parties should feel satisfied and fulfilled. This leads men to wonder how long should sex last, and it's a complicated question to answer. Let's begin with some data.

The Science

Let’s take a look at a study from 2015 conducted with members of the Society for Sex Therapy and Research, a group that exists in the United States and Canada.

Members were given lengths of time and were asked to decide if that amount of time was “adequate,” “desirable,” “too short,” or “too long.”

The results showed:

  • One to Two Minutes: Too short.
  • Three to Seven Minutes: Adequate.
  • Seven to Thirteen Minutes: Desirable.
  • Ten to Thirty Minutes: Too long.

This survey shows that the ideal amount of time for sex is seven to thirteen minutes, and that most people don’t want sex to last longer than ten minutes. Of course, this may vary from person to person, but it gives you a pretty good idea of what the average person is looking for.

The Average Duration of Sex

But how long is the average duration of sex? Well, everything doesn’t always go as planned. The average time of sex will vary from person to person, and definitely correlates with how long a man lasts in bed.

This 2005 study was conducted with 500 couples who used stopwatches to measure the amount of time it took the man to climax. The average amount of time was 5.4 minutes.

This number should be taken with a grain of salt, as a lot of things have changed since 2005. Particularly, men are more interested in satisfying their partners. This raises a question, does sex end when the man climaxes, or should there be more emphasis on the female orgasm as well?

This study only focused on the male orgasm. The average time would shift to a higher length if sex was considered over when both partners were satisfied.

How To Last Longer

The first step to lasting longer in bed is to understand that it's not an easy fix. Avoid thinking that there's some magic pill that will make you last longer and do better. However, there are methods that can help you last longer, and they're worth exploring.

Cock Rings: Cock rings can help you last longer in bed. Cock rings are small, rubber rings that you wrap around the base of your penis. They keep you harder for longer, and they keep blood in your penis for longer. This helps you last longer in bed.

Kegels: Kegels are a simple exercise to strengthen your pelvic floor muscles. If you can master your kegels, you'll be able to hold back your ejaculation longer.

Masturbation: This may seem counter-intuitive, but masturbating can help you last longer in bed. Masturbating allows you to learn how your body works, and how to control it.

Numbing Lotions: There are numbing lotions on the market that can help you last longer. These are applied to the head of your penis before sex. They numb the nerves in your penis to reduce your sensitivity and allow you to last longer.

Edging: Edging is a technique where you repeatedly get yourself close to orgasm, but stop before you ejaculate. This trains your body to last longer. It can also be fun!

Relax: Relaxing is a crucial step to lasting longer. If you're nervous or tense, you will ejaculate quickly. So, relax and have fun!

What If You Last Too Long?

The 2015 study discussed above showed that many partners don’t enjoy sex that’s too long, which might be 10 minutes or more. There are a lot of factors as to why some people don’t enjoy long periods of penis in vagina sex, but let’s focus on what you can do if you’re lasting too long.

Many men last a long time due to a lack of sensitivity. This can be caused by excessive masturbation, or too much time watching porn. In these cases, you should avoid excessive masturbation. This will allow your body to regain sensitivity.

Excessive Masturbation: Excessive masturbation is a common cause of lasting too long. If you’re a chronic masturbator, it’s going to take some time to regain sensitivity. When you’re masturbating, try to hold back from ejaculating. This will cause your body to acclimate to the sensitivity.

Porn Consumption: This is more of a psychological cause for lasting too long. Let's be real, porn often gives us unrealistic expectations. When you frequently masturbate to porn, those unrealistic expectations become the norm that your body expects. You may need to rewire your brain and change your expectations. Try to find a partner and focus on them instead of the porn.


The bottom line is that the amount of time sex lasts from couple to couple. When it comes to penis in vagina sex, the average amount of time that a man lasts is around 5.4 minutes. The preferred length of sex is between 3 and 7 minutes.

However, it's advisable to rethink that sex ends with the male orgasm, your partner's pleasure is just as important. So, get creative, experiment, and have fun!

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This blog post is for educational purposes only and does not constitute medical or other professional advice. Your specific circumstances should be discussed with a healthcare provider. All statements of opinion represent the writers' judgement at the time of publication and are subject to change. Phoenix and its affiliates provide no express or implied endorsements of third parties or their advice, opinions, information, products, or services.

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