Men, this is a question most of us will ask ourselves at some point of our lives. And there is no shame in that, either. As a society, we flood media with the importance of size, whether it be the size of our muscles, homes, or—you guessed it—our penises.
While some men might obsess over the idea of a larger member, women are much more concerned about other areas during sex, such as clitoral stimulation. In fact, many studies show that your size is not what matters, and that it's exactly what you hear: it is what you do with it.
Still, curiosity always gets the best of us. Because of that, we've put together some of the statistics, as well as information that can help guide you past the stage of wondering if you're large enough. Let's dive in!
So, What Is the Normal Penis Size?
First, we have to ask what we mean by normal. Every one of us is different, down to our DNA. Just because our sizes are different, it doesn't mean that any of us is abnormal. Let's start with length, and then we'll move to circumference, as well as how you can measure both at home, if needed.
The truth is, the average size differs from country to country. In the United States and Canada, the average erect penis length is about 5.5 inches (13.97 centimeters). Meanwhile, the average flaccid length is about 3.5 inches (8.89 centimeters).
To measure length, follow these simple steps:
- Find the base of your penis. The tip is where your penis meets your testicles or body.
- Use a ruler or measuring tape. Place it at the base of your penis, and press it into your pubic bone as far as it will go.
- Take the measurement. Read the ruler at eye level to get an accurate measurement.
Keep in mind that you may get different results, depending on whether you're measuring your penis when it's flaccid or erect. The amount of fat you have in your pubic area also plays a role. If you have more body fat, your penis may appear shorter.
Circumference, or girth, measures the distance around the thickest part of your penis. The average erect circumference in the US and Canada is about 4.7 inches (11.94 centimeters). The average flaccid circumference is about 3.7 inches (9.4 centimeters).
To measure your penis circumference, follow these two simple steps:
- Wrap a measuring tape around the thickest part of your penis.
- Take the measurement. Read the ruler at eye level to get an accurate measurement.
Again, keep in mind that you may get different results, depending on whether you're measuring your penis when it's flaccid or erect, and where you are choosing to measure. Some parts of the penis are thicker than others, for example.
What Penis Sizes Are Preferred by Women
It is no secret, no sugar-coated farce to make you feel better, and there is no hidden agenda when women tell you that size is not what matters. The vast majority of women do not care about the size of a man's penis. There are a very small percentage of women who do care, and as will all preferences, that is their prerogative.
Still, though, the truth is that to be good in bed, you don't have to be big. Vagina is a muscle, and like all muscles, it accommodates different sizes. The human body, on a biological level, is designed for procreation. So why would it be that only a small percentage of men are big enough to be wanted? It's simply not the case. Sex is a give and take, and more often than not, women would take a man who knows how their body works and is at or below average than a man that's above average and doesn't take her needs into consideration.
The mainstream rhetoric for decades was a male-centered sexual experience. Recently, this has shifted. It's more and more important to women that their partner takes their needs into consideration. This is not to say that size matters not at all, but rather that it's not the be-all, end-all that it's often made out to be.
So where does that leave us? If you're a man who is concerned about his size, know that you're not alone. It's a common worry, but it's one that you can put to rest. The vast majority of women do not care about the size of a man's penis, and the ones that do can be easily pleased with other forms of stimulation. Focus on giving pleasure, and you'll find that you'll be a success in the bedroom regardless of your size.
Why It's Important to Not Just Focus on the Numbers
The thing about preferences is that they vary from person to person. Just because one woman prefers a certain penis size, it doesn't mean that all women feel the same way. It's important to remember that each person is different, and what one person likes may not be what another person likes.
This is why it's so important to focus on giving pleasure, rather than just on the numbers. If you focus on giving your partner pleasure, you'll find that you'll be successful in the bedroom regardless of your size. There are many ways to give pleasure, and penis size is only one small part of it. So don't get too hung up on the numbers, and instead focus on giving your partner the best possible experience.
If you're focused on the inches and centimeters, you're not going to be able to preform at your best. This is because you'll feel nervous, anxious and self-conscious. All of these things can lead to erectile dysfunction, so it's important to focus on the pleasure instead of the size.
Another reason why it's important to focus on the pleasure is because it's more enjoyable for both partners. If you're only focused on your own pleasure, you're likely to miss out on a lot of the fun. But if you're focused on giving your partner pleasure, you'll both enjoy the experience a lot. Plus, it's more likely to lead to an orgasm for both of you.
So, to sum it up, it's important to focus on the pleasure instead of the size because it's more enjoyable for both partners, it's more likely to lead to an orgasm, and it's less likely to cause erectile dysfunction. Those who focus on the numbers are more likely to miss out on the pleasurable experience, so take a breath, and spend less time calculating and more time learning about the female body, as well as communicating with your partner.
Pleasuring Your Partner With a Below Average Penis Size
If you've come to the point where you've concluded that you're below average, what does that really mean? We know that size isn't the important part about sex. It's about how you use what you have. And what you have is more than just a penis. You have a mouth, fingers, and a whole body that can bring immense pleasure to your partner.
The following list is of sexual techniques that are particularly well-suited for someone who is looking to increase their partner's pleasure without relying on the size of their penis.
This one is obvious for a reason. Oral is all about using your mouth, tongue, and lips, not your penis. So if you're below average, you can still give your partner amazing oral sex. Focus on licking, sucking, and teasing their clitoris and vulva. Use your fingers to stimulate their G-spot or anus. And take your time. The longer you can prolong the pleasure, the better.
There are a lot of tips for oral sex online, so do plenty of research. But ultimately, the best way to learn is by communicating with your partner. Just like your body, your partner's body is different. What works for one person may not work for another. The only way to find out is to ask, experiment, and communicate.
Fingering is another great way to pleasure your partner without relying on your penis. Use your fingers to stimulate their clitoris, G-spot, or anus. Again, communication is key. Ask your partner what they like and experiment until you find something that feels good.
As always, consent is important. Some women do not like being fingered. You also need to make sure you have fantastic hygiene, trimmed nails, and lube before you start.
A full-body massage is a great way to relax your partner and get them in the mood for sex. It's also a way to increase their arousal without relying on your penis. Use your hands to massage their neck, back, legs, and feet. You can also use your mouth, tongue, and lips.
Remember to keep communication open. Some people do not like to be touched in certain areas or in certain ways. You also should remember that while a massage is nice, your partner may be offended if the only time you give them something as nice as a massage, you're trying to get something out of it for yourself. This is why you should read moods, body language, and verbal cues.
Dirty talk is a great way to get your partner aroused without using your penis. It allows you to explore each other's fantasies and to get them thinking about sex without having to rely on your penis size.
There are a few things to keep in mind when engaging in dirty talk. First, make sure that your partner is comfortable with it. Everyone has things that make them uncomfortable, and you don't want to make your partner uncomfortable. Second, be aware of your partner's triggers. What words or phrases turn them on? What words or phrases turn them off? Third, use your imagination. Be creative and have fun with it.
There are a number of sex toys that can be used to increase your partner's pleasure. These include vibrators, dildos, extenders, fetish toys, and more. Many of these toys can be used during intercourse to increase your partner's pleasure. Of course, these things should be talked about beforehand, as mutual consent is part of what makes your partner comfortable with you.
Discussing with your partner about what kinds of toys they'd be interested in trying is a great way to get them more comfortable with the idea of using toys. It also gives you a way to find out what they're into and what they're not into.
It really is true - your size matters less than what you do in bed. There are men who are well endowed, but still fail to satisfy their women, which is all the proof you need to know that you can make her feel great without having a different sized penis. And there are men who are on the small side, but are simply amazing in the sack, thus proving that size is not nearly as important as you might think.
You can be one of those men - all you need to learn are the right techniques, practice communication, and work on your chemistry. Communication is everything, so take the time to learn about your partners body, their turn-ons, turn-offs, and what they like and don't like. When you know this, you can then use the techniques you will learn from this book to satisfy them - even if you're on the smaller side.
This blog post is for educational purposes only and does not constitute medical or other professional advice. Your specific circumstances should be discussed with a healthcare provider. All statements of opinion represent the writers' judgement at the time of publication and are subject to change. Phoenix and its affiliates provide no express or implied endorsements of third parties or their advice, opinions, information, products, or services.