Do you have a high sex drive? Millions of men and women around the world find themselves struggling with the same problem: a strong sex drive that doesn’t seem to ever pass. It can be frustrating, embarrassing, and sometimes even harmful for relationships. But, it’s not unusual, and there are ways to manage it.
If that's you, you're not alone. We'll be discussing all of the reasons why your sex drive might be high, and even a few ways that you can get it under control.
What Might Cause a High Sex Drive?
There are a lot of reasons for having a high sex drive. Some of them are physical, some are mental, and some are just a part of your personality. A high sex drive is a really common problem for both men and women, but it’s something you can learn to manage.
You might have a higher sex drive if you:
- You were born with it. Studies have shown that genetics plays a role in the sex drives of men and women. If you’ve got a high sex drive, there’s a good chance your parents and grandparents had one, too. Sorry, but it is true.
- Are young. Studies show that men and women in their 20s and 30s have a higher sex drive than people at any other stage of life. The hormone levels in your body are at their peak, and that leads to more desire.
- Use or have used drugs or alcohol. Of course, this is only if you're using drugs or alcohol in a way that’s unhealthy. If you’re in recovery from an addiction, it’s possible that your body is still adjusting to the changes.
- Have an active imagination. People with a high sex drive often say that they’re more likely to be able to fantasize about sex for long periods of time.
- Have a fast metabolism. Men and women with a fast metabolism often have a higher sex drive, and it’s believed to be related to chemicals in the brain. If your body is working hard to keep you alive, it’s producing chemicals that will make you more interested in sex.
- Have a sex addition known as Hypersexual disorder. This is a disorder that can make people have a high sex drive, and it’s often related to other mental health issues, as well.
- Are single. Studies show that people who are in a relationship have a lower sex drive than those who are single.
What is a Normal Sex Drive?
"Normal" is a very vague term, but in this case, we're defining it as a sex drive that is generally within the same range as the general population. Of course, sex drives have a lot to do with both culture and genetics, so they vary from person to person.
So, what is a normal sex drive? Well, that’s different for everyone sex drives are certainly something you could describe as a spectrum, and the average person falls somewhere in the middle.
In general, the average person has a sex drive that fluctuates with the world around them. If you're someone whose sex-drive is high, or low, or somewhere in the middle, it's considered normal so long as it doesn't cause you stress, embarrassment, or harm.
The Difference Between High Sex Drive and Hypersexuality
A high sex drive is certainly normal, and it's not a mental disorder, or a problem in and of itself. However, there is a difference between having a high sex drive and having hypersexuality.
Hypersexuality is generally defined as an insatiable sex drive that makes it hard for the person to control their thoughts or actions. It's actually a mental disorder, and it has a lot of the same symptoms as other disorders like depression or an addiction.
If you think you might have hypersexuality, you should talk to a doctor.
The Difference Between a High Sex Drive and a Well-Adjusted Libido
The difference between a high sex drive and a well-adjusted libido is that the person with a high sex drive is struggling with their libido, and the person with a well-adjusted libido isn't. Well, not much, anyway.
The person with a high sex drive may feel out of control. They may feel ashamed, embarrassed, or even worried that they're going to hurt someone. The person with a well-adjusted libido doesn't feel that way. They may feel like their libido is high, but they don't feel like it's any kind of problem.
Hypersexality and Asexuality
On the other side of the spectrum from hypersexuals are people who identify as asexual. Asexuality is a sexual orientation, so it's considered a normal human variation.
Asexuality is defined as the lack of sexual attraction to other people. It's not a disorder, and it's not a problem. Many people who identify as asexual say that they just don't have any interest in sex, and they're perfectly happy with that. Rarely does this mean that a person who identifies as asexual never feels any sort of sex drive, but they typically have low libidos.
That said, asexuality isn't the same thing as hypersexuality, or even a high sex drive. Asexuality is a sexual orientation, while hypersexuality can be more like a debilitating disorder.
How to Manage a High Sex Drive
If you believe you might have hypersexuality disorder, the first step would be discussing your problems with either those you deeply trust, or a professional. Therapists, counselors, and psychiatrists are all excellent resources for sex drive management, and depending on the severity of the disorder, medication could be prescribed.
If you find yourself feeling depressed or stressed over your high sex drive, you can also turn to sex-drive reducing medications or medications for depression.
If you're looking for a private, more natural solution, mindfulness exercises and/or distraction techniques can be used to your advantage. With the proper mindset, you should be able to redirect your energy from sexual thoughts to other, more productive thoughts.
Of course, this takes both time and patience. Do not expect to be able to control and reshape your libido overnight. With some practice, you should eventually be able to enjoy a sex drive that is more comfortable and manageable.
This blog post is for educational purposes only and does not constitute medical or other professional advice. Your specific circumstances should be discussed with a healthcare provider. All statements of opinion represent the writers' judgement at the time of publication and are subject to change. Phoenix and its affiliates provide no express or implied endorsements of third parties or their advice, opinions, information, products, or services.